Tag Archives: Awkward Family Photos

Friday Five – Snark Fest

24 Feb

I have a secret. I love snarkey websites that make fun of things. I know it’s sophmoric and celebrates a very base sort of humor, totally pandering to the lowest common denomenator, but I can’t halp it. They make me laugh. So here are my top five satyre websites (minus The Onion, becasue come on. Who doesn’t love The Onion?) in descending order:

#5: Awkward Family Photos

This website is largely supported by user content. They take the best of the worst photos and make fun of them. Like so:

Window Display

June 3rd, 2010

 Anything for the shot.

#4: Regretsy

I’m a die-hard etsy fan. A has gotten me some of my best jewlery from there, and have I told you the story of how I found the artist featured on my headers? Etsy! However. Sometimes you come across crap that is so bad you question the very nature of humanity to have produced someone who not only came up with the idea to make a beer cozy out of a squirrel carcass, but thought people would pay money for it. Enter Regretsy:

PAULA DEEN IS NOT FOR SALE

Posted on January 22, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Housewares

Oh she’s going to love it!  She can drink melted butter from it every morning.

CONVO ME FOR THE RACHAEL RAY ASHTRAY, Y’ALL

#3: Anthroparodie

Ya’ll know I love me some Anthropologie, it’s my favorite place to go for inspiration for things I can make myself. But I think we can all agree that their prices are rediculous. Anthroparodie’s tagline is “Bohemia just got a lot more expensive.” Exactly:

February 17, 2012 

our grand masters of illusion
have concocted a perplexing enigma of unrelenting genius
 
see, it looks invisible
but then, what are those handles attached to?
are they just . . . floating . . . in space?
impossible!
be this the handiwork of the devil?

#2: STFU Parents

This is my newest snark find, and I could not be more in love with a website. STFU Parents gives voice to every annoying thought I’ve ever had about parents. Who won’t. Shut up. About. Their. Kids. The parent’s whose kids are the biggest angles and can’t understand why eeveryone isn’t as in love with their screaming devil-child as they are. The parents who talk about their kids bowel movements, and share photos publically that will land their kids in therapy years later. STFU Parents, I’m so glad you exist:

MommyJacking: The Old One-Two Punch Edition

I wonder if Stacey’s ever heard the expression “quit while you’re ahead”? I’m guessing she hasn’t. I think she may have actually posted her second comment because she realized the first one sounded a little too “me me me”, but somehow she manages to come off as a bigger asshole than before. Whoops!

Also, what’s with the frowny face and the “I don’t blame you for being super excited!” line? Did I miss something by only paying 14 percent attention during Sunday School? Is “excitement” some kind of sin or vice for which we should be blamed or feel guilty? Of course Piper is super excited for her wedding. Being married is the greatest thing next to having children!!! And having children is the greatest thing next to having a friend like Stacey!!!

#1: Stuff Christians Like

i couldn't copy the header, so i settled for the book

This one is hands down my favorite poke-fun website, but it’s very different from all the sites I’ve mentioned above. SCL really like to poke fun at the Christian experience, but the point of it is to foster unity and edification insted of making fun at someone’s expense. I’ve had some seriously convicting moments while reading posts from this site, as well as laughingly recognising myself in many of the things they say Christians do. SCL, may you live on for a good long time.

#1141. Sonic Happy Hour or “The Christian Happy Hour.”

January 9, 2012 in Uncategorized with 159 Comments

Dear Sonic,

I think I’ve been pretty clear about my love of all things Chick-fil-A. The food is delicious. The service is impeccable. And as every Christian knows, eating there is a like tithing. I’ve showered love on the Hamburger Chick-fil-A as well. (You might know it as In-n-Out.) But you, I’ve ignored you. Like Johnny Gill in New Edition or Chris Kirkpatrick in NSYNC, you’ve never really gotten the attention you deserve.

Especially when I look into your ice.

I don’t know what shape that ice technically is. Balls? Diamonds? BB’s? What the industry term is I know not. I call it, “Frozen heaven.” So round, so perfect, so readily available from someone wearing roller-skates. It’s your ice that made me like you, but it’s your happy hour that made me love you. Half price drinks from 2-4? What a gift! What a beverage blessing. What a delightful two-hour window of liquid enjoyment. I drive up and order like a boss. Drink upon drink upon drink. And my bill? $2.98. Even better, the reason I ultimately broke my long silence about you, Sonic, is the nickname my friends have given that 120 minutes. They call it “The Christian Happy Hour.” If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that phrase belonged on SCL, I could buy Powerade slush for the residents of an entire small hamlet.

Why do we call it “The Christian Happy Hour?” It’s complicated.

For a long time, Christians judged you if you had an alcoholic drink. They’d argue that when Jesus turned water into wine that was not really wine. It was like “super grape juice,” completely different than say Yellow Tail. Then, things kind of flip flopped. So many Christians started drinking wine and microbrews that people started judging you for not drinking. My friends would say, “Oh, you don’t drink? You must be small-minded and judgmental.” We started judging people for being judgmental. Isn’t that rich? Oh me! It’s all very confusing and the more I write about it. The more I realize something. I need a drink. A beverage of some sorts that will wash away these perplexing times. Small grains of ice that will pulverize these perplexities.

It’s time for me to head to the Christian Happy Hour.

Yours in slush,

Jon

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