Occupy V-Day*

14 Feb

photo from bencandance on etsy

*It seems like every organization is occupying something these days…figured I’d follow suit.

1989 – I carefully picked out Jem and the Hologram cardboard cards to put in my classmates’ Valentines Day mailboxes, because mom said I had to give one to everyone, even that boy who called me names and said my card had germs. He so didn’t deserve that card. It was truly outrageous.

1994 – I painstakingly glued doilies to construction paper hearts, believing handmade to be far superior to store-bought, and hoped that my crush noticed that I put extra glitter on his.

2003 – I baked my new boyfriend a honey cake in the shape of a heart, with honey icing, because I wanted to bee sweet. He said no one had ever baked him a cake before and told me he loved me.

2005 – My new fiancée and I decided that it was stupid to go out on Valentines day and sit among bored-looking couples you just knew didn’t go out to dinner any other day of the year, and the newly not single! who were just so excited! to have someone! on valentines day!!! We decide to start a new tradition of alternating years where one of us cooks a fancy dinner at home, and the other one buys the chef a present. Everyone wins.

2008 – I asked A to spend way too much on flowers to have them delivered to my office (it was the first time I had an office!) so that my co-workers would be impressed by how much my devoted husband loved me.

2012 – A. and I decide that Valentines Day, as a whole, is a stupid, overrated game that makes singles feel bad and couples feel pressured. So we decided not to play.

Listen up people! The hearts and flowers made-up holiday shenanigans have gone on long enough! I’ve done the single thing on February 14th. I’ve done the girl-power anti-valentine Valentines. I’ve done the dating, have to find just the right way to say you care without going overboard shopping, thing. I’ve done the “ok, so we’re married and we show each other that we love each other every day, but now we have to make extra effort on this arbitrary day” thing. None of it’s good, and it’s high time the juggernaut that is Valentines Day be stopped.

I feel like breaking out in a Spice Girls song…
Colors of the world! Spice up your life!
Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life!
People of the world! Spice up your life! Ahhhh….

Reasons not to play the V-Day game:

  1. If you’re single you’re made to feel like you’re not as good as those with significant others, which could not be further from the truth, and you’ll feel strangely optimistic when viewing (pointed and blatantly manipulative) eharmony ads.
  2. If you’re dating you are made to feel obligated to buy something for you significant other, not because you care and want to, but because every store, every advert, every billboard and sale ad reminds you that VALENTINES DAY IS ALMOST HERE, and you are brainwashed into believing that buying stuff on this day means you really care.
  3. If you’re married you are made to feel fearful at forgetting this hallowed day and disappointing your spouse and having to sleep on the couch. The pressure to meet and perhaps surpass last year is tremendous, and you start to watch your partner anxiously as the dreaded day approaches to figure out what in the heck they might want to make sure you do enough.
  4. All the focus is put on one day and one type of love, instead of celebrating that love is a daily action, a daily choice, and that there are many types of love, all equally worthy of celebration.
  5. No one looks that good in pink and red.

To all those, including my past self, who have bought into the idea that throwing an ANTI-V-Day party (or celebrating Single Awareness day with champagne and chocolates) is sticking it to the system…let’s not fool ourselves people. This holiday is all about buying and consuming to make ourselves feel better. Buying anything remotely V-Day themed, including that bottle of bubbly that your supermarket ordered extra of to meet demand, is putting your hard-earned dollars into the deep, heart-shaped pockets of The Valentines Day Machine.

So I say we revolt! If you’re single and sick of being targeted as sad desperates looking for love this time of year…if you’re married and don’t feel like shelling out $200 just because a day says you have to, and you just had three date nights last month alone…if you’re dating and are tired of the emotional vice-clamp that increases pressure the closer February 14 gets…let’s be brave, be different, be against the grain. Let’s treat February 14th like every other day and make it not matter. We can take this mother down if we all work together.

They can take our hearts and glitter but they Can’t. Take. Our. FREEDOM!

If you’re tired of V-Day and want to see it taken down,  click to share and spread the revolution!

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4 Responses to “Occupy V-Day*”

  1. Elaine (@BanieMcBane) February 14, 2012 at 8:32 am #

    Word. I feel so not compelled to do something special on a day that has no significance for myself or my marriage.

  2. Monica February 14, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

    I agree, wholeheartedly. Think we need to put forth an alternative to aleviate the boredom between Christmas and Springtime though. Let’s see……there’s Presidents Day in Feb, or MLK day in Jan. Promote one of those to V-day status or make up a new one. Oh oh oh, there’s Groundhog Day! What about that? We can all celebrate Groundhog day by going on a nationwide picnic. Kind of like 4th of July.

    • Christy A. February 14, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

      I like it. Picnic like groundhogs. We can pack roasted root veggies and nuts.

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